How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
God gave him joint rollers for hands
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
