I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
