We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
