we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
