Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
