She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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