He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
