I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
