***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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