I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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