I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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