Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
