I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
