She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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