I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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