You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
