She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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