Screwed.edu
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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