nut hugger
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
