Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize