i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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