Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
