go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Don't make out with my wife yet
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
