Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
