i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
