How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
