in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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