Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
