What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
