Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
