shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
