omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
