Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
