i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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