Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
