Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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