they need to just BURY HIM!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
