remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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