I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
