Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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