I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
