I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
