If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
jump out the window naked night went bad
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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