She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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