Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
