He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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