its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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