he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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