Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
