doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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