My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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