'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
