WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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