she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
