There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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