what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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