Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
