somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
my sisters under your porch take her home
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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